Good Night

 You were my best friend

And needed to die

I refused to let you

I tried to stop you

You were supposed to always here

You said I was your life partner

But life hurt you

And you left

I couldn’t stop you

You left

I’m here barely breathing

It hurts so much

I trust you to do

What’s right

Even turn out the lights

I can’t turn them on for you

I tried to be the one to save you

You free fell into my life

You let go completely

You almost died a dozen times

But this time you did it 

alone

You cut us all out with surgical precision

“To work on your healing”

And healing meant suicide

You had to die

You used to fantasize

About the other side

Beyond the veil

Well you pulled it back

And achieved your goal

I’m torn between

Relieved you aren’t suffering

Blindsided by the weight of grief

Proud of you for staying as long as you did

As much as it hurt

Broken without my best friend

broken gaze

Now my view is clouded

By tears

The veil for me is lifted

I finally understand that

You needed to die to breathe

I am sorry for what happened to you

So deeply sorry

I love you 

Trust you

Accept you

Even in death

Even at your own hands

I respect your courage

If you can hear me

Know I feel your soul’s pull

Its gravity

Is tied to me

I can hear you

Your maniacal laughter

Your accents and yoga breath

On earth, it’s not the same

Life is changed

But I will say your name

Rinne

I will say goodbye

By the time you hear this

Your body will be in the ground

Your soul, not found

Wandering into freedom

Not tethered to the ground

No noose

Just loose

No tension

In the extra worldly dimension

You are an extension

Of my love

Carry it far away

Into the golden light

I see you dance off

Into night

Missing you with all my might

Good night

To this life

Good night