Black Magic

 Black Magic

sept 6, 2020

There is a fairy inside me

hiding out when I can't see

when I can't breathe

or fight another day

she lives inside the core of my heart

she hides away when I feel split apart

I can call on her when I need to see

the magic of living is deep inside me

she spreads her wings

expanding the love

an energy that can often be hidden

when filling my time with distraction

and passion

I can't touch her magic

when I give no time

to feel my feelings

of mourning

and disappointment

the feelings of a broken heart

her magic is the love of my own heart inside me

I have to turn inward and let myself see

love that feels magic

love is energy

of re-directed grief to healing and being

wellbeing is being with all that I feel

and not ignoring the tragedy that is real

she wants to fly around all of my wounds

and sprinkle the energy of attention

on cellular wounds

the living truth of trauma is it tries to cover over

to stop me from feeling loss -

or love inside myself

Without feeling my feelings, the fairy goes dark

her inner light dims and I can't find my spark

how do I stop to remember the light?

sometimes a long walk on a chilly night

sometimes letting the tears out that have been dormant inside

sometimes exploring the depths of the pain

so I can feel relief and then smile again

without feeling the depth of the pain in my heart

she’s trapped in the cage I erect and cant take apart

without stopping to see just how much love can hurt-

without that awareness

without that real truth

love is so shallow

and darkness runs loose

to live in the shadow for moments in time

to see the purples and blacks of darkness

allows love to shine

the truth of duality is there is no this without that

opposites need each other

opposites attract

to call on her magic I need to turn black